In fourth grade there were six of us in the group and we sat everyday at our own table, girls on one side, boys on the other.  We kicked each other under the table all day long.  I had huge bruises on my legs when I got home every day from school. Carol King's "Tapestry" had just come out and we played that every day and kicked.  Lisa had boobs already and wore beige tights that could pass for nylons if you squinted.  She lived in a brand new house out in the 'burbs where the doors closed with the sound of cardboard. One day she announced that she had tickets to see the Osmonds.  The Osmonds were clearly about as uncool as anything could get.  The Jacksons were cool.  But I had never been to a concert, so I decided to go.  I wore purple hot pants with fishnet stockings, a pink shirt, and the kind of brown oxford shoes that look corrective.

Her dad sat next to us crunching on candied popcorn and hogging the binoculars.  And by the time little Jimmy came out for the encore of Yankee Doodle Dandy, I was in love with Donny.  Such is the mind-altering power of showmanship and white sparkling spandex.

At school there were rumors about who loved who in class.  I was accused of loving Matt and Dan, who approached me and said, "uh...we heard you love us... so were gonna beat you up after school."  I replied vehemently, 'Florence just told you that cuz i told Nicky that she loved him!' For some reason they bought it, and I was spared.  Suckers! And everyone used to go around saying 'Carol King Tapestry', 'Carol King Tapestry', so that I thought the lady's name was Carol King Tapestry.  It was a pretty name.